The Match Rank List is due NEXT WEEK and 4th year medical students across the country are busy ranking their programs. If you are a 4th year medical student or are married to one, you and your spouse have been busy at this whole “residency application” thing for a while. You’ve been shelling out the dough to pay for application fees, writing personal statements, collecting letters of recommendation, and flying out to interviews and resident dinners.
One of my absolute favorite things about owning and running The Mrs. behind the M.D. is receiving emails or messages from my readers. I LOVE hearing from you! People will contact me just so say hi, to celebrate victories, to commiserate with me on the craziness of the doctor wife life, or to ask me questions.
I get asked questions about all kinds of things from my readers about being a doctor’s wife.
Medical school, basically, is hard. Everyone who is currently a medical student or has been one knows this. Now imagine trying to have a romantic RELATIONSHIP with someone who is going through this process. Let me put having a relationship with a medical student into perspective:
Before being accepted into a medical school, it’s a time of applications, interviewing, travel expenses, application fees. nervousness, excitement, and decisions.
And then once the student is accepted,
If you or a loved one is in the medical field then the term “burnout” is most likely familiar to you. Burnout among medical professionals is on the rise recently due to a lot of factors – increased work hours, lower staffing, increased acuity of patients, almost no tolerance for mistakes from management, etc etc. I felt the effects of burnout myself when I was working as a nurse.
Physician burnout specifically is a very real thing now and it’s causing a lot of problems for physicians and the patients they care for.
Man. I have been away from writing for waaaaay too long! Why have I been MIA for so long? What has kept me from this hobby I enjoy so much? From interacting with all of you fellow doctor’s wives? I’ll tell ya.
We all come from different backgrounds. Different childhoods and families. And we are all in different phases of this crazy medical journey. But one thing that I KNOW we all have in common is that life throws all of us curveballs.
I don’t know about you guys, but when Daddy comes home it is probably the best time of the day. When my two boys hear the front door open, they come running from their Legos or their cars with exclamations of “It’s DAD! DAD’S HOME!”
And my husband walks in the door with his blue scrubs, pager on his hip and his work bag slung over his shoulder. He will smile whenever he comes home,
Your DrH is in his 4th year of medical school and is thinking ahead to the next step – residency. He has spent hours putting together his residency applications and they are officially submitted. Finally.
Soon enough the interview offers will start coming in and he will be off to check out the different residency locations. Residency interview season is an exciting time, full of future possibility and promise. I mean your husband is going to be a flippin’ doctor!
Alright docs. This one is for you.
If you are a doctor and you are married, I’m going to let you in on a little secret – your wife puts up with a lot of crap that comes with living the doctor’s wife life. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some perks that come with the territory too. Yes, some doctor’s wives live a very comfortable lifestyle financially and that is in large part thanks to your hard work and sacrifice.
When you see a doctor as a patient, you may have noticed that some doctors have an M.D. or some have a D.O. after their name. What’s the difference? Are both of them doctors? Can they both do the same things in medicine?
Or if you are a student who is considering going into medicine, you’ve probably noticed by now that there are M.D. and D.O. medical schools. Why are there two different schools?
One of the hardest things about supporting a husband with his career is figuring out how to help him when things at work get hard. When the stress starts to mount and he feels overwhelmed, what can you do? I mean, it’s not like you can go to his workplace and do his work for him, right? Or march in there and tell-off that jerk of a boss? Even though you really, really wish you could!
If your husband is a medical professional, he probably has some old white lab coats from his training years. And where are those white coats right now? Let me guess – shoved in the verrrrry back of your closet. Or folded up in a box somewhere.
I mean, he will never use it again but you definitely don’t want to get rid of it – it’s such a unique keepsake of his journey to where he is today.
If your husband is a medical student, you know how hard it can be. He is studying at all times of the day and night. He has seemingly endless tests. He has to learn the equivalent of an entire semester of a college class in two weeks. It is hard and he is often under a lot of stress.
And so you, as the wife of a medical student, have a lot to deal with!
When my DrH and I got married almost 7 years ago, we were madly in love. The newlywed stage was pure bliss. We wanted to be around each other constantly – constantly talking, constantly touching, constantly kissing – you get the idea. He was almost perfect in my eyes.
Yes when we got married there were a few hardships in the beginning. One was that because he was a night owl and I was morning person I was always begging him to come to bed with me while he wanted to stay up another hour or two.
I know some days you are nervous and you wonder how you will make this work. I know some days you are just done being a resident wife. I know some days it takes every ounce of energy you have to keep it together, and sometimes you just can’t.
One of my favorite things about summertime is spending time on the beach. Going to the beach has become a part of our regular routine ever since moving to Southern California for my DrH’s residency. We absolutely LOVE it. We go almost once a week during the summer to escape the heat and enjoy some quality family time.
But of course, as everyone knows, it is a LOT of work to get to the beach –
Everyone wants happiness in their life, right? That’s obvious. People will go to great lengths to do things or buy things that they believe will make them happy.
But the sad thing is, every single person does something every single day that destroys their happiness in an instant. It can take the joy right out of you and make you resentful, dissatisfied, angry or depressed.
This daily, awful thing that we do to ourselves is we compare ourselves to others.
Is there anything cuter than making your kiddo a mini-me of their doctor or nurse mom or dad?!! No, no there isn’t.
Are you kidding me?!
Being a doctor’s wife has it’s ups and downs. Yes there are the long work hours, the unpredictable schedule, and the seemingly endless years of training. Yes our husband’s job is stressful and often they come home exhausted and emotionally unavailable. But there are some great things about being married to a doctor that I sometimes take for a granted. I try to remember these things when times get hard. Because really, not everyone gets to be married to such amazing people who also happen to be doctors.